When one of my daughters was about 7 or 8 she was riding her bicycle in the neighborhood, and she fell. Her knee was bloody, and she needed stitches; I was out doing errands so when the babysitter called,
I rushed home. The first thing I did when I saw my daughter, bloody knee and all, was yell at her “I told you to be careful on the hill!”
The fear I felt not knowing what I was going to find when I got home, quickly turned into anger. My poor daughter, who had been keeping it together until that point, burst out crying. I felt terrible. She just needed mom to give her a hug and tell her it was going to be ok; instead, I lashed out and made things worse.
This one was one of the first times I realized how fear can turn into anger. Fear, frustration, uncertainty, hunger; all feelings that can turn into anger. If we focus on the anger instead of what is causing the anger, we miss the mark.
With horses, I’ve learned to try to get to the root of the issue. If, for instance, my horse gets spooked on the trail and I in turn get scared and then angry, it doesn’t help my horse relax. My anger just makes him more scared, and it confirms to him that there was a reason to be scared. This vicious cycle is the exact opposite of what I want.
With horses, I can practice detaching myself from emotions and be able to guide with calm confidence and clear headedness. In life, I also practice detaching from other’s emotions. This doesn’t mean I don’t empathize and/or love, I just don’t need to go on someone else's emotional rollercoaster. I can be more helpful by keeping calm and not letting the energy of the interaction take over in a negative way.
Just another way horses can help us grow!
Comments